life's grand parade

Link 2
Notes Joe Flacco Already Preparing Apology To Ray Lewis For Disappointing End To Career

LOL, just kidding. We believe in you Joe! What’s that sound? Oh I’m just sharpening these knives, think nothing of it.

#The Onion #Joe Flacco #You've got to have faith
Link 4
Notes Man Has Alarming Level Of Pride In Institution That Left Him $50,000 In Debt, Inadequately Prepared For Job Market

#The Onion
Link 2
Notes "I have naturally oily hair. If I leave it dry, it ends up messy by the end of the day, so I slick it back," Doug Roessner of Brockton, MA said. "I sell insurance for a living, so how am I supposed to get my clients to trust me when they all think I'm some money-hungry scumbag? And every time I tell my bosses that I'll 'take care of' a problem, they immediately assume I mean murdering someone. It's pathetic."

#The Onion
Link 2
Notes Man Who Cut Off Seymour Hersh In Traffic Subject Of 20-Page 'New Yorker' Exposé

#the onion #Seymour Hersh
Photo 8
Notes

totallymorgan:

;)

And this will be it for the night!
(Source: The Onion, via getoffmyblog)

#Slavoj Zizek #The Onion
Link I laughed for a long time today because of this.

#Ashton Kutcher #Demi Moore #Mysterious Black Rune-clad orb made in the fires of hell #gossip #The Onion
Link 9
Notes Nation's Least-Appealing Puppies To Face Off in the Puppy Bowl

“Abilene, the Australian shepherd mix who dawdled and misfired all season until she lucked out in the Puppy Playoffs? Joni, the rat terrier who plays in an awful puppy division where she’s almost guaranteed a shot at the postseason? Boring.”

#New England Patriots #New York Giants #Puppy Bowl #Puppies #NFL #Football #The Onion
Link "I can't believe this guy got an interview, let alone got hired," said Bainridge, WA textile designer Cynthia Anderson, whose fabrics were considered among the field's best before the collapse of the domestic apparel industry in 2010. "What motivation do I have to go out there and apply for work while this dipshit is on national television?"

#Matt Millen #The Onion #Unemployment activiites
Text 4
Notes

Traveling Group Of Medieval Mummers Is America’s Top Pick For Holiday Entertainment

A little out of season, but well worth it.

#History #The Onion #Mummers #The Pox
Link 1
Notes Delete Your Tumblr: The Series

#The Onion #Delete Your Tumblr

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theonion:

U.S. Citizenry Admits It Could Kind Of Go For Charismatic Authoritarian Dictator | Full Report

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I just sat through a one hour webinar on motivating yourself and others and it was full of inspirational shit and I just want to curl up under my...

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“A certain amount of effort is made to insert a little color, but ultimately Portlandia is a comedy, and strangely, there seems to be a refusal to...”

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Alchemy was probably just regular science until Middle Ages Pinterest got its hands on it.

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Photo via heyhope

This past weekend at the sanctuary was glorious. Beautiful weather, animals loving life.

This is a picture of Loki from the sanctuary’s facebook...

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I seriously can’t believe Michael Hastings is dead. He was such a nice guy.

What. A. Loss. It’s devastating.

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Adventures with globe.

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stayinbedgrowyourhair:

spending the last hour of work sending my father texts suggesting that i’ve been leaving all the doors to the house...

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