YOU GUYS WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU WATCHED FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA’S BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA??
*Ok, first thing, this movie is bad. AWFUL. LAUGHABLY STUPID. But it is good-bad. Ridiculous bad. Sumptuous camp—even better because it is unintentional camp. It is so delicious 1990’s period drama, you’ll flip. Every one, including Winona and Keanu, have deplorable british accents. It’s so bloated and ambitious, it’s a social document. Tom Waits is in it. If it’s on, I insist you watch it.
*This is what a good-bad movie is supposed to be like! Fill you with good humor and also hypnotize you with its nakedness. THERE’S A GREEN CGI MIST SCENE!! AND ANTHONY HOPKINS IS DREADFUL IN THIS!!!
*What’s even more incredible and makes the viewing experience all the richer is that YOU KNOW that the director made the two greatest movies in cinema history and you’re like, OH COME ON!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, FRANCIS??
*Cary Elwes used to be so beautiful, so Anglo, so full of promise — what a terrible actor! Poor guy.
*The wigs and costumes are legit amazing and deserving of their Oscar!
*STEAMPUNK GARY OLDMAN.
*Saw this in theaters when I was 8 with my parents because The Trilogy is really important in this family and we were all excited. :(
*KEANU! KEANU! KEANU!