According to Padres COO Tom Garfinkel, there was “not a strong affinity” for the Padres uniforms of the last half decade. Despite this apparent discontent, Garfinkel also stated that “the idea of a big change wasn’t well received.” Because either people are just that stupid or the marketing department missed an important component of their research.
With this mandate from the people, the Padres had no choice but to add, wait for it, piping! These uniforms actually do offer a modest improvement over last year’s options and the solid blue choice looks quite sharp in a wholly inoffensive and unoriginal way. Kind of like the uniforms one would use in a high school theatre production about baseball players.
But after being unable to find a 1980s throwback Padres cap during my trip to San Diego last summer, I will not let the team slide until they find some way to incorporate the classic browns, yellows, and/or oranges that defined their first twenty years of existence.
(image via @padres)
The Orioles are returning to the cartoon bird, so there’s always hope!
But seriously, the Baseball Chargers have suffered for a long time with some consistently blase uniforms. If a shrug had a style, it’d be named “Padre Grey.” I can’t imagine someone looking at the uniform and being like “Yes, I want to be apart of this tradition… SUIT ME UP.”
The Uniform makes the man. Yes, the old Padres uniforms were fucking goofy, and I don’t necessarily think they’d work now (just like the Old Astros uniforms, both products of the technicolor era in which they were born), but they were different. The 90’s are known for All Teal Everything, btu they’re also the era when most teams switched to a conservative, corporate design that put you to sleep.
Yes, I know, they trot out a camouflage uniform every couple months, but I’ve never heard anyone say something positive about them. First off, people wear camouflage to avoid being seen. It’s too busy! If it wasn’t for the military connotations, nobody would wear that shit without being ostracized by the community. It gives Lagerfeld fits! Even the service academies trot their camouflage uniforms for “special” occasions. Nobody wants to play sports looking like a freshman year MICA pottery class.
Anyway, you deserve better, San Diego. The Chargers design is a classic. Distinctive, classy, and most importantly, simple. The Padres jersey’s almost too simple; like the designer had a stroke midway through the planning session. I’d almost prefer the brown and yellow to spending five minutes wondering who the Phillies are playing.
