Let’s start off by saying Fuck Abercrombie and Fitch, and it’s James Bond Henchman looking owner. For years these motherfuckers have been floating cheap looking khakis (that you could buy at fucking Sears for 20 dollars) as the latest in style trends. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Khakis, board shorts, fucking flip flops, and “Rugby” sweatshirts are anti-fashion.
And look, I wear all of that shit! (Not flip flops, keep your filthy toes to yourself white people). They’re goddamn comfortable. But that’s also shit you can buy for cheap at EVERY FUCKING STORE IN TOWSON TOWN CENTER. Shit, even the Suncoast sells flip flops, and I’m sure they’re cheaper and of a similar quality to that garbage in A&F. It’s garbage, garbage with a slick logo and some barely legal teens modeling it. They’re the fucking Lexus of suburban mall clothing stores.
I bought a pair of Abercrombie pants from a thrift store. It had a paint stain next to the pocket, and smelled vaguely like balls and marlboro reds. I wore those pants for ten years. Not a single person asked me where I got my pants. You know why? Because NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR FUCKING CARGO PANTS. You could buy it from Abercrombie, Aeropostale, or the FUCKING MOON, and no one is going to give it a moment’s thought. At best, the person will be like “Oh, that guy’s going into the Green Turtle, that’s for sure.”
You can tell that this Abercrombie dillhole CEO, who looks like a motherfucking Hammer Horror villain, is so far up his own ass that he’s nosediving in his colon. Elitism is one thing, but elitism within the confines of a mall chain store is fucking hilarious. You pump up the brand like it’s being worn by fucking barons and archdukes and shit, but it’s all decidedly middlebrow. The trendy know where to go for their clothing needs, and they leave the Abercrombie and Fitchs for all the little people.
WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID:
What the fuck is wrong with you, internet warriors? Buying Abercrombie clothes and giving it to the homeless just so you can get your fucking film career off the ground is the most disrespectful goddamn thing I have ever heard. You should be ashamed of yourself if you’re participating.
If you see anyone doing this, please mug the shit out of them.